12 Undeniable Ways To Tell When He is Cheating

Its better to be alone than in bad company~Anonymous

 

Romantic relationships are an essential part of life, but it makes no sense when it becomes deceitful.

Why do people cheat on their spouses?

Why are they not honest to the people they claim to love?

These are the questions that keep ringing in my head while I write this article. These questions make me so afraid of getting married and having kids with someone who will later on loose interest in what we have and treat me like I dont matter.

I mean gone are the days when people used to chase after others, when they obviously know they are not wanted. Why not just be honest?

Mostly its men who cheat, some actually think that it makes them more manly and they can even brag about it to their friends about how he wasn’t caught. What they don’t know is that women are sharp, they were created with a sixth sense that makes them know, even when they don’t say it. They just know.

However, I find cheating unnecessary If you don’t want to be with someone tell them, it will hurt but it won’t kill them. If you find someone better, more attractive or smarter then by all means tell them. 

While Some women just know when they are being cheated on, others see the signs but overlook them and most of them have no clue. 

Here are the obvious ways to tell when he is cheating on you.,

1.You think it

If your gut instinct is telling you that he is, then there is a high chance that he is cheating on you. Listen to it.

2.He starts spending long hours at work

He starts coming home late, has late night meetings then that’s a red flag he’s probably spending time with someone else

3.He creates or changes the password on his phone and other digital devices

He becomes secretive and all of a sudden needs his privacy

4.He gets so nervous when try to use his Phone and snatches it from your hand

5.He becomes overly nice, charming and sweet.

 He is probably just feeling guilty and wants to appease his conscience or cover up.

6.He gets too conscious of his looks, 

He becomes sensitive to his dressing,spends lots of hours grooming and starts shaving every day when he never used to.

7.He has mood swings 

He lashes at you and starts arguments from trivial issues. He is trying to find a reason to leave you.

8.When you confront him about it he turns the tables on you and tries to make you think that you are crazy and insecure.

9.He takes too long to answer your texts.

He is a bad communicator and answers your long texts with a one-word answer texts. Meanwhile he is texting other girls.

10.He has many unsaved numbers on his phone. 

11.He carries his phone everywhere he goes even in the bathroom. Then spends a ridiculous amount there with the excuse that he was answering his mails

12.He puts his phone on airplane mode.

He doesn’t want to receive any suspicious call when you are around.

If you have seen most of the above signs then he is definitely cheating, if it’s less than three then maybe you are wrong. You just need to talk to him and clear the air.
 

What to do if He is Cheating

1    # 1.Go through his things like texts, check his Emails-It may be hard to find any evidence by going through his phone because chances are that he is good at hiding it. But you got to try.Do it smartly though,you might be wrong and it will create trust issues,that may subotage your relationship.

     #2  Follow Up-Follow him around and see where he goes when he says he is working late, this would be easier if he claims to be at work because that way you could give him a surprise drop by.

3   #3 Confront Him-Ask him about it especially-After collecting all the evidence then ask him about it. Make it seem like it would be nice if he confessed to what was going on.  If he has no reasonable explanation, then he is a cheater.  Why would you want to be with such kind of a man? Just leave because he will never change and you deserve better

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Why Weddings Are The Worst

I am a realist, and blunt. I choose not to bury my head in the sand and act like I dont see whats going on around me. I choose to see things the way they are. 

Its every girls dream to have a big glamourous,beautiful and expensive church wedding.  But am not every girl. I think that weddings are so overrated.

They take months of stressful planning and are very expensive.Moreover, I wouldn’t want to slip awkwardly out of an overpriced car, in an overpriced dress,which I will only get to wear on one day, then walk down the aisle in front of hundreds of people some of whom I barely know.

I recently happened to watch a My dream wedding,a show on Ktn channel, I don’t usually watch those but this one was particularly interesting. The groom was very open on the fact that he couldn’t have afforded such a big wedding seeing that he was a security guard who happened to have been earning Ksh 6000 per month, and the bride was a house help for this rich family that happened to have sponsored the wedding whose cost was Ksh 540,000. Interesting right?

A wedding is about the bride and groom not everyone else. I can only imagine the conflict that comes about when the bridesmaids want different dresses, no one is happy with the menu, friends want to invite their friends that the couple don’t even know about and all your sisters think they should be the maid of honour. I dont want to be part of such kind of drama.

It is not supposed to be a show off to impress a bunch of people some of whom you don’t even know, or care about.

The whole point of it is to make a promise of love and commitment to your spouse.

Weddings make people forget why they are throwing them in the first place, they become blinded.

So If and when that time comes, I would grab my husband’s hand and run down to the Attorney General’s office, then spend some of the money on an incredible honeymoon, and invest the rest. But that’s just me, my opinion.

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11 Qualities of A Highly Desirable Woman

1.She is Confident

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.She believes in herself and you can see it from the way she carries herself, a confident woman is an attractive woman. No one is perfect but she knows her flaws and is still comfortable in her own skin 

2.She Good communicator

She knows when and how to speak to others. She is also a good listener who watches her language and chooses her words carefully.

3.She does not seek attention

She doesn’t feel the need to take 1001 selfies and post them on social media in order to be validated. She always seeks the right kind of attention, the kind that will make her life better.

4.She has a passion, Hobbies and goals in life

This is the kind of woman who sets goals and works towards achieving them. She also knows what she wants and works hard to get it without having to be pushed or pressured. She is a hard worker and has a passion for life.

5.She Avoids Gossip

She doesn’t find value in talking about other people because she knows that it’s not beneficial in the long run. So she avoids gossiping at all costs.

6.She knows how to control her emotions

This is the kind of woman who doesn’t throw tantrums whenever she wants to. She understands that everyone is different and as much as life has its ups and downs, she always manages to keep her smile and control her temper.

7.She is dependable and Honest

This is the type of woman who you can always depend on. She keeps her word and so people find it easy to open up to her. She is quite a charmer

8.She is Smart

Not just a high IQ. But she knows what is going on around her, she can easily have a meaningful conversation with anyone without feeling left out.

9.She takes care of herself

She knows how to clean up, be smart and she always takes care of her self-health wise. She also puts an effort when it comes to what to wear and how to wear it. She is simple but classy.

10.She doesn’t chase after people

She knows that she deserves better, so she doesn’t waste her time and energy chasing after other people who are obviously not interested in her. She knows her value, so instead of chasing after others she focuses on making herself better.

11.Her life does not revolve around her Relationship

She has a lot going on in her life, so she doesn’t immerse herself completely into a relationship, she takes time to catch up with her friends and family just so that it doesn’t seem like her happiness depends on her relationship.

Are you a highly desirable woman?

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Date Someone Who is Excited to Be with You

They say bad boys aint no good and good boys aint no fun, and like every other girl I usually find myself falling for the bad ones. The ones who are emotionally unavailable; the ones with the big ego; the ones who think are too good to love and appreciate someone else. The ones who are not as excited to be with you as much as you are excited to be with them.

 

I once dated this guy. He was so proud, insecure, unreasonable, immature and well, the list is endless. Deep down I knew he was bad for me but for some reason that I can’t really comprehend I stuck around and it wasn’t pretty. Just an endless cycle of Drama that sucked the energy right out of me.

I believe we get into relationships for many reasons other than love. For me I think it’s because I don’t really have that many friends so I go into relationships hoping that they will fill that gap, or maybe it’s because I don’t get to be with my family most of the time, so it gets pretty lonely.

You then find yourself into these messy relationships where you are not appreciated as you ought to or you are taken for granted or better yet you work too hard to be loved by someone.

The saddest thing is that we always see the damn signs but we choose to ignore because you settle. You settle for less than what you deserve because the voice in the back of your head keeps telling you that you will change them, that love will change them but it doesn’t. 

The love becomes draining and tiresome, because you are the only one who is trying to keep it together.

Then months pass by, they ignore your texts and calls with the excuse that they are busy, so you tell yourself to stop being petty and that you should understand even though you know that no one is ever that busy.

Maybe they treat you nicely when he is around then goes missing for days, then you think you are too needy. Or he flirts with you when you are together then treats you totally differently before other people, and still you just think that it’s his nature. 

Well I hate to break it to you but it’s not, they are just not that into and you need to get over it. If that wasn’t the case they would be there for you as much as you are for them.

If you don’t want to end up full of resentment, anger and frustrations, then you need to;

#1. Respect yourself

You have to respect yourself enough to walk away from a relationship that is obviously not working, you can’t force people into loving or being with you, accept it and move one. You are better off alone anyway.

#2. Listen to your gut

There that feeling inside you that will always tell you when something is not right. Trust it. And stop wasting your time with someone who doesn’t see just how amazing you are.

#3. Love yourself first

You cannot love someone else if you don’t love yourself first. And if you did love yourself then you would walk away from an abusive relationship and never look back because there are other people who love you for you, effortlessly.

#4. You deserve better

If you knew just how amazing you are you would know when to say No, especially when it’s clear that the other someone is not putting any effort into your relationship.

#5. Work on self-improvement

If you have been rejected before don’t give up just work on improving yourself, change your wardrobe, start working out and eating healthy. Be better, feel better and you will meet the right people.

#6. Don’t settle

Don’t get into a bad relationship just because you think there’s no one better. There is someone for everyone, be patient. Don’t settle for less.

I loved myself enough to walk away because as much as I wanted to be loved, the frustrations that came with being with someone who wasn’t into me, was not worth it.

Don’t overlook these small red flags in the hope that things will change or he is just human or you think you are being petty, there is only so much you can take.

If you are a great person and you know it, don’t compromise, don’t settle for less, and don’t think that he/she is the best you have ever had because she is not. Just Accept that he/she is not good for you and move on before it’s too late. #Life lessons

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